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2002-10-06 / 11:52 p.m.
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on
and point a hair
dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your
voice.
3) Insist that your e mail address is:
[email protected]
or [email protected]
4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they
want fries with
that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little
synchronized chair
dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over
their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual
favors.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you
think."
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the
prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness
level lights Up
the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it
that way.
13) Don't use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after
they answer.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same
outfits. Wear
them one day after your boss does. (This is especially
effective if your
boss is of the opposite gender.)
20) Send ! e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them
what you're doing.
For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom,
in Stall #3."
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape
of jungle sounds
all day.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party
because you're not in the mood.
23) Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
24) Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name,
Rock Hard.
25) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!",
"I Won!" "It's the
3rd time this week!!!"
26) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking
lot, yelling
"Run for your lives, they're loose!"
27) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that
bother me, its the
voices in your head that do."
28) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we
are going to
have to let one of you go."
(reason for living) that's what you think
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last 5 entries
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