~WOMEN'S ENGLISH~
"Yes" = No
"No" = Yes
"Maybe" = No
"It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
"Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later.
"We need to talk" = I need to bitch
"Sure.......... go ahead" = I don't want you to.
"I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
"How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're not going to really like me for!
"Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
"You have to learn to communicate" = Just agree with me.
"Are you listening to me?" = [Too late, you're dead.]
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
~MEN'S ENGLISH~
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
"I'm tired" = I'm tired.
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give you a massage" = I want to fondle you.
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question?
"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you" = Let's have sex now.
"I love you too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
"Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

(reason for living) * * * * *