SIGNS INTERNATIONAL
TOKYO HOTEL: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
BUCHAREST HOTEL: The list is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
LEIPZIG (GERMANY) ELEVATOR: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
BELGRADE (YUGOSLAVIA) ELEVATOR: To move the cabin, push button forwishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
PARIS HOTEL ELEVATOR: Please leave your values at the front desk.
ATHENS HOTEL: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
YUGOSLAVIAN HOTEL: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
JAPANESE HOTEL: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
MOSCOW HOTEL: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
SWISS MENU: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
AUSTRIAN SKI LODGE: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
POLISH MENU: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
HONG KONG TAILOR SHOP: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
BANGKOK DRY CLEANERS: Drop your trousers here for best results.
PARIS DRESS SHOP: Dresses for street walking.
RHODES (GREECE) TAILOR SHOP: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
SOVIET NEWSPAPER: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Art by 16,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
GERMAN CAMPING SITE: It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
HONG KONG AD: Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.
ROME LAUNDRY: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
CZECH TOURIST AGENCY: Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
SWISS MOUNTAIN INN: Special today - no ice cream.
COPENHAGEN (DENMARK) AIRLINE: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
MOSCOW HOTEL: If this is your first visit to the U.S.S.R., you are welcome to it.
NORWEGIAN LOUNGE: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
BUDAPEST (HUNGARY) ZOO: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
ROMAN DOCTOR: Specialist in women and other diseases.
ACAPULCO HOTEL: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
TOKYO SHOP: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
JAPANESE HOTEL: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
TOKYO CAR RENTAL FIRM: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
MAJORCAN SHOP: English well talking. Here speeching American.

(reason for living) only when lit up