SNIGLETS
=>abzot (AB zaht) - n. The device in a currency changer that determines whether a bill is too wrinkled or not. =>accordionated (ah KOR de on ay tid) - adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time. =>aeroma (ayr OH ma) - n. The odor emanating from an exercise room after an aerobics workout. =>aeropalmics (ayr o PALM iks) - n. The study of wind resistance conducted by holding a cupped hand out the car window. =>alponium (al PO nee um) - n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initial blast of odor upon opening a can of dog food. =>ambiportalous (am bih PORT ahl us) - adj. Possessing the uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and ALWAYS pushing the locked one. =>anaception (an a SEP shun) - n. The body's ability to actually affect television reception by moving about the room. =>antalixic (and a LIK sik) - n. One who passes over licorice jelly beans. =>anticiparcellate (an ti si PAR sel ate) - v. Waiting until the mailman is several houses down the street before picking up the mail, so as not to appear too anxious. =>aquadextrous (ak wa DEKS trus) - adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. =>aqualibrium (ak wa LIB re um) - n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye. =>arachnidiot (ar ak NI di ot) - n. A person, who, having wandered into an "invisible" spider web begins gyrating and flailing about wildly. =>attrinyl (a TRY nil) - n. (chemical symbol: At) A black, bulletproof, totally inflexible type of plastic, used primarily in covers of pay phone directories. =>bandile (BAN dyl) - n. The thin red strip one pulls to release a Band-Aid. =>bargarcs (BAR jarks) - n. The streaks on a car's windshield from faulty wipers. =>bathquake (BATH kwake) - n. The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is turned to a certain point. =>bevameter (BEV a meet uhr) - n. (a unit of measure) The distance a coaster, attached to the bottom of a wet glass, will travel before it falls back to earth. =>bleemus (BLEE mus) - n. The disgusting film on the top of soups and cocoa that sit out for too long. =>blibula (BLIH byu luh) - n. The spot on a dog's stomach which, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly. =>blindelize (BLIN dul eyes) - v. To scratch an album beyond recognition trying to maneuver it over the record spindle. =>blithwapping (BLITH wap ing) - v. Using anything BUT a hammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp bases, door stops, etc. =>blivett (BLIH vit) - v. To turn one's pillow over and over, looking for the cool spot. =>blotch (blahch) - v. To slap the bottom of a catsup bottle with increasing intensity, ultimately resulting in a BLOTCHSLIDE. =>bobblogesture (bah blo JES cher) - n. The classroom activity of not knowing an answer but raising one's hand anyway (after determining a sufficient number of other people have also raised their hands, thus reducing the likelihood of actually being called on). =>boslum (BAHZ lum) - n. The small metal ring on a ballpoint pen that separates the top half (MELANEXUS) from the bottom half (MOOSTERUS). =>bovilexia (bo vil EKS e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you pass a cow. =>brattled (BRAT uld) - adj. The unsettling feeling, at a stoplight, that the busload of kids that just pulled up beside you is making fun of you. =>brimplet (BRIM plit) - n. A frayed shoelace that must be moistened to pass through a shoe eyelet. =>bucklint (BUCK lint) - n. The fine red and blue threads running through new dollar bills. =>buculets (BUK u lets) - n. The bumper guards on the underside of a toilet seat. =>bumperglints (BUMP ur glintz) - n. The small reflective obstacles in the middle of interstate highways which supposedly keep drivers awake and on the track. =>burbulation (ber byu LAY shun) - n. The obsessive act of opening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to catch it before the little automatic light comes on. =>bursploot (BER sploot) - v. To position one's thumb at the end of a garden hose to increase the water pressure. =>busblender (BUS blen dur) - v. The device at the front of the bus that tosses your fare around for awhile, then swallows it. =>cabnicreep (KAB nih kreep) - n. The structural condition in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another to open. =>careena (ka REEN uh) - n. Any mangled or missing piece of highway guard rail. =>carperpetuation (KAR pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum ONE MORE CHANCE. =>cereoallocative (ser e o AL o ka tuv) - adj. Describes the ability of a seasoned breakfast eater to establish a perfect cereal/ banana ratio, assuring there will be at least one slice of banana left for the final spoonful of cereal. =>chalktrauma (CHAWK traw ma) - n. The body's reaction to someone running his fingernails down a chalkboard. =>charp (charp) - n. The green, mutant potato chip found in every bag. =>cheedle (CHEE dul) - n. The residue left on one's fingertips after consuming a bag of Cheetos. =>chingrip (CHIN grip) - n. The area where the chin meets the neck. Used for holding the pillow when slipping on a pillowcase. =>choconiverous (chahk o NIV ur us) - adj. The tendency when eating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first. =>chwads (chwadz) - n. The small, disgusting wads of bubble gum commonly found beneath table and counter tops. =>cigadent (SIG a dent) - n. Any accident involving a cigarette: for instance when it sticks to your lips while your fingers slide off and get burned. =>cinemuck (SI ne muk) - n.The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters. =>circlocryogenic theory (sur klo kri o JEN ik THE ur ree) - n. Postulates that no matter which way you turn a glass of ice water, the cubes will to the back. (Further research has established t hat one piece of ice will always stick to the bottom of any empty glass until tapped, at which point it will come forward and smack the drinker on the end of his nose.) =>circuloin technique (SUR kew loyn tek NEEK) - n. The popular approach to steak dining in which one eats around the edges first, then works his way toward the middle. =>clumfert (KLUM furt) - n. The invisible extra step at the top and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when one is carrying a large bag of groceries. =>coeggulant (ko EG yu lent) - n. The white things in a plate of scrambled eggs. =>conagraphs (KOHN a grafs) - n. The raised relief squares on an ice cream cone. =>creedles (KRE dulz) - n. The colony of microscopic indentations on a golfball. =>crummox (KRUM oks) - n. The cereal that gets caught between the inner lining and the side of the box. Also, the leftover amount at the bottom. (Not enough to eat, but too much to throw away. ) =>curbswell (KERB swel) - n. A seismic condition in which the curb on the passenger side of a car will rise and wedge a car door. The passenger must then climb out and stand on the curb until the swelling goes down. =>dasho (DA show) - n. The area between a car's windshield and dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc. cannot be humanly retrieved. =>deterrency (de TER ren see) - n. The ruined currency found in pants pockets after laundering. =>detruncus (de TRUNK us) - n. The embarrassing phenomenon of losing one's bathing shorts while diving into a swimming pool. =>disconfect (dis kon FECT) - v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will "remove" all the germs. =>door slinky (dor SLIN kee) - n. The springy device attached to the back of a door that prevents the door from marring the wall. =>dublectate (duh BLEK tayt) - v. To misplace one's eyeglasses and eventually discover them atop one's head. =>ecnalubma (ek na LUB ma) - n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rear-view mirror. =>elbonics (el BON iks) - n. The action of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. =>elecelleration (el a cel er AY shun) - n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive. =>equatt (E kwat) - n. The pastime of trying to balance the light switch in the exact middle of the wall plate, so that the light is half on, half off. =>erdu (UHR dew) - n. The leftover accumulation of rubber particles after erasing a mistake on a test paper. =>escalasticize (esk a LAST i size) - v. To lean against the rail of a moving escalator and have the sensation of being pulled in t he opposite directions. =>euneeblic (you NEE blik) - n. A person who refuses to believe an "out of order" sign and risks his money anyway. =>expressholes (eks PRES holz) - n. People who try to sneak more than the "eight items or less" into the express checkout line. =>fenderberg (FEN dur burg) - n. The large glacial deposits that form on the insides of car fenders during snowstorms. =>flannister (FLAN is tur) - n. The plastic yoke that holds a six-pack of beer together. =>flen (flen) - n. (chemical symbol: Fl) The black crusty residue that accumulates on the necks of old catsup bottles. =>fleptic (FLEP tik) - adj. The tendency of soup and dog food lids to slip into the can upon opening. =>flirr (flur) - n. A photograph that features the camera operator's finger in the corner. =>floles (floz) - n. The extra (fourth and fifth) holes in notebook paper. Created in the hopes that oneday mankind will perfect a "five ring binder." =>flopcorn (FLOP korn) - n. The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the cooker. =>flotion (FLO shun) - n. The tendency when sharing a waterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other person moves. =>flotta factor (FLAH ta FAK tur) - n. The proven scientific fact that at a self-service pump, the last ten cents take longer to reach the tank than the first twelve dollars' worth. =>flowfright (FLO frite) - n. The desperate attempt by a homeowner to talk his overflowing toilet into backing down. =>fluggling (FLUG ul ing) - v. The dangerous practice, in a darkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an electrical plug into a wall socket. =>fraznit (FRAHS nit) - n. Any string hanging from an article of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to completely unravel. =>frust (frust) - n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug. =>furbling (FER bling) - v. Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport of bank even when you are the only person in line. =>furnidents (FER nih dents) - n. The indentations that appear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been removed. =>furterus zone (fer TER us zohn) - n. The empty stretches of bun on either end of a hot dog. =>garmites (GAR mitz) - n. Those items of clothing that fit perfectly in the store, but somehow shrink on the way home. =>genderplex (JEN dur pleks) - n. The predicament of a person in a theme restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated bathroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises). =>gertatious (gur TAY shus) - adj. Having the adolescent fear that hanging one's arm over the bed at night will mean being dragged under. =>gimplexus (gim PLEK sis) - n. The rear area of the thighs, which must be peeled from the car seat on hot summer days. =>gladhandling (GLAD han dling) - n. To attempt, with frustrating results, to find and separate the ends of a plastic-sandwich or trash bag. =>glantics (GLAN tiks) - n. Two people, who, while making out, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other is looking. =>glarpo (GLAR po) - n. The juncture of the ear and skull where pencils are stored. =>gleemule (GLEE mule) - n. (a unit of measure) One unit of toothpaste, measured from bristle to bristle. (Not to be confused with GLEEMITES, which are petrified deposits of toothpaste found in sinks.) =>glutetic chair (glew TET ik chair) - adj. A twentieth- century design chair, found most often in movie theaters. The main feature of the Glutetic chair is its ability to keep folding up underneath a person as he tries to force it down with his rear. =>gnarmblum (NARM blum) - n. The dry wrinkly area at the end of the elbow. =>grackles (GRAK elz) - n. The wrinkles that appear on the body after staying in water too long. =>greelite (GREE lite) - n. The eerie glow that emanates from beneath escalator steps. =>grinion (GRIN yun) - n. The unsightly indentation in the middle of a belt when it has been worn too long. =>gription (GRIP shun - n. The sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor during basketball games. =>grisknob (GRIS nahb) - n. The end of a chicken drumstick which always gives the appearance of having more chicken on it. =>gromaxes (GROM ack sis) - n. The inside area of the knees used to grip the steering wheel when holding a road map. =>gurmlish (GURM lish) - n. The red warning flag at the top of a club sandwich toothpick which prevents the person from biting into it and puncturing the roof of his mouth. =>hangle (HAN gul) - n. A cluster of coat hangers. =>hempannant (HEM pan ent) - n. Any coattail, cuff, or dress hem dangling outside the door of a moving vehicle. =>hozone (HO zohn) - n. The place where one sock in every laundry load disappears to. =>hudnut (HUD nut) - n. The bolt left over when one has finished reassembling a bicycle or car engine. =>hydralation (hi dra LAY shun) - n. Acclimating oneself to a cold swimming pool by bodily regions: toe-to-knee, knee-to-waist, waist-to-elbow, elbow-to-neck. =>hystioblogination (HIS te o blahg in AY shun) - n. The act of trying to identify a gift by holding it to your ear and shaking it. =>idiot box (ID e ot bahks) - n. The part of the envelope that tells a person WHERE to palce the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves. =>ignisecond (IG ni sek und) - n. The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying "my keys are in there!" =>jiffylust (JI phee lust) - n. The inability to be the first person to carve into a brand-new beautiful jar of peanut butter. =>kedophobia (ked oh FO be uh) - n. The fear of having one's sneakers eaten by the teeth on the escalator. =>knimpel (NIM pul) - n. The missing last piece of a jigsaw puzzle. =>krogt (kraht) - n. (chemical symbol: Kr) The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards. =>lactomangulation (LAK to man gyu LAY shun) - n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side. =>laminites (LAM in itz) - n. Those strange people who show up in the photo sections of brand-new wallets. =>lotshock (LAHT shahk) - n. The act of parking your car, walking away, and then watching it roll past you. =>lub (lub) - n. The small deposit of spinach that lodges itself between one's teeth. =>McMonia (muk MOAN ee uh) - n. (chemical symbol: Mc) Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your table while you're eating. =>maggit (MAG it) - n. Any of the hundreds of subscription cards that fall from the pages of a magazine. (pl. MAGGREGATE). =>magniphobia ( mag ni FO be uh) - n. The fear that the object in the side mirror is MUCH MUCH closer than it appears. =>magnocartic (mag no KAR tik) - n. Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts. =>manglazette (mang la ZET) - n. The newspaper at the top of the stack that everyone passes over, believing the ones beneath have better or fresher news. =>marp (marp) - n. The impossible-to-find beginning of a roll of cellophane tape. =>mattrescotting ( MAT res kot ing) - n. The pattern of gray and white lines on an institutional mattress. =>maypop (MAY pop) - n. A bald tire. =>memnants (MEM nents) - n. The chipped or broken M&M's at the bottom of the bag. =>merferator (MUR fur ay ter) - n. The cardboard core in a toilet tissue roll. =>methylphobia (meth il FO be uh) - n. The fear that you are going to have to pay the one cent you over-pumped at the self-service station. =>mittsquinter (MIT skwint ur) - n. A ball player who looks into his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow, the cause of the error lies there. =>mophenes (MO feenz) - n. The semi-truck headlights that invade your motel room at three in the morning. =>motspur (MOT sper) - n. The pesky fourth wheel on a shopping cart that refuses to cooperate with the others. =>mowmuffins ( MO muh finz) - n. The dried accumulation of grass on the underside of lawnmowers. =>mumphreys (MUM freez) - n. (a useless sniglet) Those strange extra digits you find on push-button phones. =>musquirt (MUS kwirt) - n. The water that comes out of the initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle. =>mustgo (MUST go) - n. Any item of food that has been sitting in the refrigerator so long that it has become a science project. =>napjerk (NAP jurk) - n. The sudden convulsion of the body just as one is about to doze off. =>narcolepulacy (nar ko LEP ul ah see) - n. The contagious action of yawning, causing everyone else in sight to also yawn. =>neglintics (ne GLIN tiks) - n. The study of why dark lint attaches itself to light clothing and vice versa. =>neonphancy (ne ON fan see) - n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life. =>nerkle (NUR kel) - n. A person who leaves Christmas lights up all year. =>nevitts (NEV itz) - n. The sandpaper-like deposits on a cat's tongue. =>nistols ( NIZ tolz) - n. The small rubbery pads on the bottom of a dog's paw. =>niz (niz) - n. An annoying hair at the top of a movie screen. =>nugloo (NUG lew) - n. The single continuous eyebrow that covers the entire forehead. =>oatgap (OHT gap) - n. The empty space in a cereal box created by "settling during shipment." =>opling (OH pling) - n. The act, when feeding a baby, of opening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and making yummy noises, in the hope that baby will do the same. =>optortionist (op TOR shun ist) - n. The kid in school who can turn his eyelids inside out. =>orogami (or oh GA mee) - n. The miraculous folding process that allows Kleenexes to methodically emerge from the box one at a time. =>orosuctuous (or oh SUK chew us) - adj. Being able to hold a glass to one's face by sheer lung power. =>pediddel (pe DID ul) - n. A car with only one working headlight. (Related to LEDDIDEP: a car with only one working taillight. ) =>pedlock (PED lahk) - n. The condition of a bicycle pedal wedging itself against the kickstand. =>pelp (pelp) - n. The crumbs and food particles that accumulate in the cracks of dining tables. =>penciventilation (pen si ven ti LAY shun) - n. The act of blowing on the tip of a pencil after sharpening it. =>percuburp (PER kyu berp) - n. The final gasp a coffee percolator makes to alert you it is ready. =>petribar (PET ri bar) - n. Any sun-bleached prehistoric candy that has been sitting in the window of a vending machine too long . =>petrool (PET rul) - n. The slow, seemingly endless strand of motor oil at the end of the can. =>pewtone (pyu TONE) - n. (chemical symbol: Pu) A major atmospheric component of towns with paper mills. =>phistel (FIS tul) - n. The brake pedal on the passenger side of the car that you wish existed when you're riding with a lunatic. =>phonesia (fo NEE zhuh) - n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer. =>phosflink (FOS flink) - v. To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out (as if, somehow, that will bring it back to life). =>photoyokel (fo to YO kul) - n. A person who presses the wrong button on a film camera causing it to dismantle. =>phozzle (FO zul) - n. The buildup of dust on a record needle. =>picklettulance (pik ul ET yu lans) - n. The ability to remember the entire family's order at a fast-food restaurant. =>pifflesquit (PIF ul skwit) - n. The wire net surrounding the cork of a champagne bottle. =>pillsburglar (PILZ berg ler) - n. Person able to sample the icing on a new cake without leaving a fingerprint. =>piyan (PI an) - n. (acronym: "Plus If You Act Now") Any miscellaneous item thrown in on a late night television ad. (Example: a pitchman trying to sell an all purpose carving knife..."it's the only knife you'll ever need. Plus if you act now, this complete set of steak knives...") =>point blimfark (poynt BLIM fark) - n. The point at which the wheels on a stagecoach appear to turn in the opposite direction. =>porkus non gratis (POR kus non GRAT is) - n. The scraggly piece of bacon at the bottom of the package. =>premblememblemation (prim blum em blum AY shun) - n. Whenever you drop a letter in the mailbox, you always re-check to make sure it's gone down. =>profanitype (pro FAN i tipe) - n. The special symbols used by cartoonists to replace swear words (points, asterisks, stars, and so on). It is yet to be determined which specific character represents which specific expletive. =>psychophobia (sy ko FO be uh) - n. The compulsion, when using a host's bathroom, to peer behind the shower curtain and make sure no one is waiting for you. =>pupkus (PUP kus) - n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it. =>purpitation (per pi TAY shun) - v. To take something off the grocery shelf, decide you don't want it, and then put it in another section. =>retrocarbonic (ret to kar BON ic) - n. Any drink machine that dispenses the soda before the cup. =>riceroach (RYS rohch) - n. The burnt krispie in every bowl of Rice Krispies. =>rignition (rig NI shun) - n. The embarrassing action of trying to start one's car with the engine already running. =>rocktose (ROK tohs) - n. The hard lumps that block the pouring spouts of sugar dispensers. =>rovalert (RO val urt) - n. The system whereby one dog can quickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking. =>rubuncles (RU bunk ulz) - n. The bumps on an uncooked chicken. =>sark (sark) - n. The marks left on one's ankle after wearing tube socks all day. =>scadink (SKA dink) - n. The annoying buildup of ink on the end of a ball-point pen. =>scandroids (SKAN droydz) - n. The striped price codes which mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a few years ago. =>schlattwhapper (SCHLAT wap ur) - n. The window shade that allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second, then snaps up in your face. =>schnuffel (SCHNUF ul) - n. A dog's practice of continuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company. =>scrabitch (SKRAB ich) - n. The impossible-to-reach area in the middle of the back which can never be scratched. =>scribline (SKRIB line) - n. The blank area on the back of credit cards where one's signature goes. =>scrit (skrit) - n. Anything that's been in the same place for at least fifty years without being used, such as the archaic bottles of hair tonic on a barber's counter. =>shirtlop (SHURT lahp) - n. The condition of a shirt that has been improperly buttoned. =>shoefly (SHEW fliy) - n. The aeronautical terminology for a football player who misses the punt and launches his shoe instead. =>shuggleftulation (shug lef tuyl AY shun) - n. The actions two people approaching, trying to get around each other, and muttering "thanks for the dance." =>sirlines (SIR lines) - n. The lines on a grilled steak. =>slackjam (SLAK jam) - n. The condition of being trapped in one's own trousers while trying to pull them on without first removing the shoes. =>sloopage (SLU paj) - n. The tendency of hot dogs, hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their covers. =>slotgreed (SLOT greed) - n. The habit of checking every coin return one passes for change. =>slurm (slerm) - n. The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long. =>slutures (SLEW chers) - n. The four white threads that protrude from Levis after the tag has been removed. =>sniffleridge (SNIF ul rij) - n. The trough leading from the nose to the upper lip. =>snorfing (SNORF ing) - n. The little game waitresses love to play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking up and asking, "Is everything okay?" =>spagmumps (SPAG mumps) - n. Any of the millions of Styrofoam wads that accompany mail-order items. (Also, SPAGBULLIONS: custom fitted Styrofoam blocks that accompany stereo equipment.) =>speclums (SPEK lums) - n. The minuscule bumps on a strawberry. =>speraws (SPER awz) - n. The pinched marks on the ends of hot dogs. =>spibble (SPIB ul) - n. The metal barrier on a rotary phone that prevents you from dailing past 0. =>spirobits (SPY ro bits) - n. The frayed bits of left- behind paper in a spiral notebook. =>spirtle (SPUR tul) - n. The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye. =>spork (spork) - n. The combination spoon/fork you find in fast food restauraunts. =>sprachett (SPRA chit) - n. The rubber bar at a checkout counter that separates one load of groceries from another. =>spubbling (SPUB ling) - v. The superhuman feat of trying to wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving" faucets at the same time. =>squalkeenus (skwal KE nus) - n. The shock syndrome that comes from biting into a popsicle with one's front teeth. =>squatcho (SKWATCH oh) - n. The button at the top of a baseball cap. =>stroodle (STRU dul) - n. The annoying strand of cheese stretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth. =>strumble (STRUM bul) - n. That visible object you always pretend made you trip, when it was actually your own stupid clumsiness. =>sturp (sterp) - v. To pin down a runaway peice of paper or currency with one's foot before the wind blows it away. =>subnougate (sub NEW get) - v. To eat the bottom caramels in a candy box and carefully replace the top level, hoping no one will notice. =>succubeebish (suk yu BE bish) - n. The gelatinous substance found surrounding canned hams and Vienna sausages. =>superfluholes (sup ur FLEW holz) - n. (another useless sniglet) The phony holes on speaker covers, put there to match the ones that actually surround the speaker. =>swazna (SWAZ nuh) - n. The thin, disgusting membrane that connects the bottom of the tongue to the top of the jaw, presumably to hold it in place. =>telecrastination (tel e kras tin AY shun) - n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away. =>telepression (tel e PRE shun) - n. The deep-seated guilt which stems from knowing that you did not try hard enough to "look up the number on your own" and instead put the burden on the directory assistant. =>thermalophobia (thur muh lo FO be uh) - n. The fear when showering that someone will sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald you to death. =>thernot (THER not) - n. The cardboard rod on a hanger that prevents creasing in pants. =>thrickle (THRI kel) - n. The itch in the back of the throat which can't be scratched without making disgusting barnyard-type noises. =>tiefright (TY fryt) - n. The fear that no matter which way you turn the twist-tie on a loaf of bread, it is the wrong direction. =>tile comet (tyl KOM it) - n. Any streamer of toilet paper attached to your heel as you emerge from a public restroom. =>tirequills (TYR kwills) - n. The small rubbery protrusions on new tires. =>toastate (TOHS tayt) - v. To impatiently pop toast up and down in the toaster, thus increasing the likelihood of burning it. =>tolloaf (TOE lohf) - v. Act of missing a toll basket and having to climb out of your car to retrieve the coin. =>tritz (trits) - n. The holes in saltine crackers. =>twinch (twinch) - n. The movement a dog makes with its head when it hears a high-pitched noise. =>ufuation (yu flu AY shun) - n. The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized. =>uhfage (UFF aj) - n. The unit for determining a television's age, that is, the amount of time it takes for the picture to appear once the set has been turned on. =>upuls (YU puls) - n. The blank pages at the beginning and end of books, presumably placed there so you can rewrite the ending . =>vulcant (VUL kant) - n. (chemical symbol: Vu) The stale air that emanates from a flat tire. =>warbloid (WAR bloyd) - n. The tiny device in cassette players that eats tapes. =>wattbobble (WAT bah bul) - v. To remove a hot light bulb by turning it several seconds, letting your fingers cools, then repeating the process. This is generally followed by the glorious revelation of using your shirttail. =>werxilation (wurks ul AY shun) - n. The property of some screen doors to start to slam shut only to catch themselves at the last moment and "float" to a gentle close. =>Wily's Law (WI leez law) - n. The only know exception to Newton's Law of Gravity, Wily's Law states that an animal or person can suspend himself in midair provided (a) he is in a cartoon, and (b) he doesn't look down and realize he is no longer on solid ground. =>wondracide (WUN druh side) - n. The act of murdering a piece of bread with a knife and cold butter. =>wurblet (WER blit) - n. The line of moisture on one's trousers that comes from leaning against a wet counter in a public restroom. =>xiidigitation (ksi dig TAY shun) - n. The practice of trying to determine the year a movie was made by deciphering the roman numerals at the end of the credits. =>yardribbons (yard RIB onz) - n. The unmowed patches of grass discovered after one has put away the mower. =>yink (yinc) - n. One strand of hair that covers a bald spot. =>yinkel (YIN kul) - n. A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice. =>yorange (YAWR anj) - n. Those disgusting white threads that hang from an orange after it has been peeled. =>zibula (ZI bew luh) - n. The plastic spine which model car parts come attached to. =>zimeter (ZI me tur) - n. (a unit of measure) The last four of five inches of tape that never rewind automatically. =>zipple (ZI pul) - n. A broken poptop on a beer or soda can. =>zizzebots (ZI ze botz) - n. The mark on the bridge of one's nose visible when glasses are removed. =>zyxnoid (ZIKS noid) - n. Any word that a crossword puzzler makes up to complete the last blank, accompanied by the rationalization that there probably is an ancient god named Ubbbu, or German river named Wfor, and besides, who's going to check?

(reason for living) none