Bumper Stickers

"The gene pool could use a little chlorine." "All generalizations are false." "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." "Time is what keeps everything from happening at once." "I love cats...they taste just like chicken" "Out of my mind. Back in five minutes." "Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle." "Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons." "Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death" "Cover me. I'm changing lanes." "Happiness is a belt-fed weapon" "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog." "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot." "Conserve toilet paper, use both sides." "REHAB is for quitters" "I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!" "Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep" "E. coli Happens" "Ashes to ashes..dust to dust..get off my ass you crazy nut!" "Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician" "If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport." "SAVE A TREE: Eat a beaver" "I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...." "Towers will be violated" "Work is for people who don't know how to fish" "Sex is a misdemeanor. . .the more I miss it, the meaner I get !! " "End rape. Say 'Yes!'" "I KNOW JACK SHIT!" "Montana --- At least our cows are sane!" "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian." "Don't blame me, I'm from Uranus." "Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition." "Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!" "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you." "If you don't like the news, go out and make some." "I Brake For No Apparent Reason." "When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS." "Sorry, I don't date outside my species." "Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.! " "Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips." "Friends don't let Friends drive Naked." "Wink, I'll do the rest!" "No Radio - Already Stolen" "Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs." "I took an IQ test and the results were negative." "Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?" "If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?" "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!" "Assassins do it from behind!" "Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!" "Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!" "Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist." "IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got. " "Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all it's students!" "It's lonely at the top, but you eat better." "LOVE: two vowels, two consonants, two fools." "According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist." "Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have." "A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory." "Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!" "How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?" "I'm not as think as you drunk I am" "First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering" "Don't come knocking if the car is rocking" "Save Water - Take a bath with your neighbor's daughter" "Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal ! " "Give me ambiguity or give me something else." "We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?" "We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse." "Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot." "He who laughs last thinks slowest" "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else." "Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math." "Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies." "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." "Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy." "Consciousness: that annoying time between naps." "i souport publik edekasion" "The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette." "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder..." "3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't." "Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?" "Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?" "Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'.. till you can find a rock." "2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2." "I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles." "I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. " "Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog. -Dorothy." "I is a college student." "Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off." "Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself." "Eschew obfuscation." "God Is Coming, And She Is Pissed!" "I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?" "CAUTION: This vehicle may wreck or explode for no apparent reason." "We're staying together for the sake of the cats." "It's been lovely, but I have to scream now." "My karma ran over your dogma." "Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition." "I don't lie, cheat or steal unnecessarily." "It's as bad as you think and they are out to get you." "If you don't like the news, go out and make some of your own." "Life's too short to dance with ugly men." "Life's too short to dance with ugly women." "Beer isn't just for breakfast any more." "Sorry, I don't date outside my species." "It's lonely at the top, but you eat better." "Don't steal. The government hates competition." "Is there life before coffee?" "Never play leap frog with a unicorn." "Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m" "The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful." "I Cayman went." "I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?" "Smile. It's the second best thing you can do with your lips." "Don't laugh. Your daughter could be in this vehicle." "Nuke the unborn baby whales." "Geez if you belive in honkus." "Friends don't let friends drive naked." "There's one in every crowd and they always find me." "If money could talk, it would say goodbye." "When you're in love, you're at the mercy of a stranger." "Just when you think you've won the rat race along come faster rats." "If it's too loud, you're too old." "Cynics are people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing." "Who cares who's on board?" "Die Yuppie Scum." "Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it." "Women make great leaders. You're following one now." "Carlsbad Caverns: 22% more cavities." "Exxon Suxx." "Honk if you love cheeses." "Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn't exist." "I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be." "So many pedestrians, so little time."
bumperstatements

(reason for living) killing 6-packs just to watch them die