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2002-11-16 / 3:13 p.m.

Politically Correct Statements

*Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."
*You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."
*You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
*You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."
*It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."
*No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."
*You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."
*You don't get lost all the time, you "discover alternate destinations."
*You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

(reason for living) underutilized sobriety

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